So we asked 5 bartenders a few questions to find out what it's really like working in a bar and here's what they had to say; 

The Worst thing you’ve found at work?

- “It’s not a ‘thing’ as such but I once saw a man weaponize his own infant by swinging her at someone.”

- “A very dead rat.”

- “Sick and shit that’s not in the toilet is pretty grim.  I also found someone being fin****d once.”

- “A pair of shitty boxers that someone tried to flush down the toilet… I think… yeah”

- “Probably knickers… there’s always someone pants left…”

The funniest thing you’ve found at work?

- “Probably when a shot glass gets stuck inside a pint glass and you only realise after you’ve served them, you can just see it in there but they haven’t realised yet….”

- “Rows of alcohol bottles filled with water.  They didn’t actually sell the things, but they didn’t want to look bad.”

- “There’s always Viagra packets on the floor…”

- “we used to fill cocktail shakers full of WKD, fizz powder and a tiny bit of water, shake them up and watch them explode, we use to have to clean it off the ceilings though.”

- “One of the girl’s I worked with once thought she’d found a pregnancy test in the staff toilet.  On closer inspection it turned out to be one of those ‘squashy’ sweets just upside down.”

The strangest thing to happen at work?

- “I worked in a holiday camp and we were debating whether the place was haunted.  Jokingly my manager asked if anything was there to please turn out the lights… sure enough the place went black, that was weird.”

- “The bell that rings itself in the pub I currently work in… Every now and again random stuff happens here.  That’s the weirdest I’ve personally encountered here… Freaky old place.”

- “Was in the Cellar tonight getting ice and someone ran down our stairs.  No lights on and my manager was upstairs setting the bar up… Weird shit like that happens all the time…”

- “Well I didn’t technically find it but where I worked, we found a dead eel on the floor… I worked in a strip club…”

- “A man once came to the end of the bar and loudly dropped a massive, hard-back book on it called ‘How to Butcher Pigs’ then casually ordered his drink… it was unnerving to say the least.  Also loads of paranormal stuff”

Best lock in?

- “Accidental lock in when we let ourselves into a bar that my mate was running, got woken up by the cleaning lady the following day.”

- “In a bar I used to work in, one night we shut and we had to get rid of loads of stock and we were doing the fosters challenge… so we were just sticking our head under the fosters tap and seeing how long you could drink for and shotting all sorts of shit like Tia Maria, absinthe and anything that was left… then my manager went crazy and smashed up the chairs… it got emotional and he was telling us how much he would miss us all.”

- “After a really busy week of races we had worked 6pm-6am for most of the week and just got the bar sorted and we had a massive lock in with all the staff.  Everyone was smoking and drinking and talking about shit that had happened.”

Biggest irk?

- “Customers that pick you up on shit that you know. You get some comments about how to make tea or whether you’re cleaning properly.”

- “Lazy staff.  People who won’t clean, or stand at the end of the bar chatting instead of serving.  Staff who can’t pull a pint. Basically people.”

- “People that order one drink, so you pour it and go back, then they order another drink, so you pour it and go back, then they order another… it’s like, I’m not a total retard… I can remember your order… That really annoys me…”

- “People who have no f*****g manners… Does my head in, or rubbish in glasses… or money on a wet bar… or maybe trying to explain £10 minimum card spend to drunk people…”

-“I used to work in an underground bar and we had no signal for the card machines, drunk people didn’t understand at all… bad manners… people who order a massive round and a Guinness last… people who don’t tell you their full order…”

Best tip?

- “Ha! £1 and a tub of hot nuts!.. no pun intended.”

- “Stop working in bars :p... or £100 whichever is best.”

“I worked in a bar near a casino and someone once gave me £30 in casino chips.”

- “Two £50 notes… I’ve still got them.”

“Someone once offered me £2000 to dance for them but if that doesn’t count then £160 over a races weekend… or champagne or a drink is always a good one”

Worst state you’ve found a customer in?

- “When people’s children are fast asleep in a booth but they’re still dancing and drinking… that’s not right.”

- “Passed out sat in the urinal.  Looked like he’d sat there to shit.  Kind of thankful he’d failed, but he’d also thrown up in his own lap…”

- “erm, this massive guy was literally just… he’d shat himself, pissed himself and vomited everywhere and nobody could move him because he was too big…”

- “standard girl passed out, knickers round her ankles, covered in sick…”

- “People who fall over and are so drunk they can’t stand themselves back up again… Toilets are always left in a ‘shitty’ state.”

Helpful advice you’d give to a customer (…if your job didn’t depend on it)?

- “Be a nice person… always.”

- “Not to throw up on a bar or I’d punch them.  Couldn’t handle the shots I’d made them…”

- “Don’t be a dick.”

- “Don’t be a ballbag haha… does  that count?”

- “Don’t be a dick.  Your bartender probably isn’t some scum bag retard that never went to school, so don’t treat them like that, one day it could be your kid or your friend standing behind the bar… also if you piss me off I’ll spit in your drink…”

Funniest mispronunciation of alcohol?

- “Cardboard – Calrsberg… Any cocktail name…"

"Turrrrrborg *northern drawl accent* or Turbo – Tuborg”

- “Oh God, so many!  I have to think a bit about this one… Bon Doggle instead of Boon Doggle, Matters instead of Moretti… All the time… I get asked for Mer-lot far too often… Yeah, if you’re gonna’ drink it at least know the name…”

- “Ha! A girl once asked me for a ‘strong-bone’ instead of a strongbow… I think it was accidental… and someone else asked me for a Bom-bard-di-er instead of a ‘Bombadier’”.

“Moo-Jee-Toe instead of Mojito… Gets me every time…”

- “Haha so many! Erm… Rekorder’LING’ instead of ‘RekorderLIG’… ‘Old MouNt’, instead of ‘Old Mout’… I mean jesus, with the exclusion of dyslexics… learn to read!  Also someone once asked me for a ‘Dar-I-Aki’ instead of a Daquiri… Maybe it’s the Japanese version, I don’t know…”

 

So, if you like what you read or you have stories of your own to share please leave them below!

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